Friday, January 6, 2012

Struggles

2011 was full of ups and downs, triumps and failures ... and a lot of blessings. Although we have struggled financially, the Lord has come through for us EVERY TIME.  We have not gone hungry, we are not on the streets, and we have clothes on our backs.  It can be hard to accept help from other people, especially when its more than once.
As a parent I feel that the hardest part for me is the feeling that I have lost  authority over my child.
What he eats depends mostly on what is given to us, what he wears is dictated by someone elses taste, and lots of other little things that all add up....  I realize that in many situations, I do not feel comfortable doing something or giving my son something, but since "Beggars can't be Choosers" somehow I feel impotent, like I can't say NO, or I think "Maybe next time, they will ask first".
I was a bit discouraged the other day, and even though I don't like sharing discouragement with others, I mentioned it to my sister. I couldn't really explain in words  how I was feeling, but she knew exactly what I was talking about. Now, I know that the only person making me feel that way was ME, and I was allowing the devil to use my feelings and situation to sow seeds of resentment and hurt ... But sometimes, it is nice to hear something you already know from somebody else (It always makes more sense).
She reminded me once again that God answers prayers. If I have a need, he fulfills it. She also reminded me that I AM THE MOM, and no matter what, I have the final say when it comes to Ivan (Of course daddy does too).
I know this post is a little out of the ordinary... Have you ever felt the same way ? Did you allow yourself to stay in the dumps ? What did you do to snap out of it ?
Here is a promise.
Phil. 4:19

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